Post-SHIELD
by zeppery4
Summary: Taking place after the events of Captain America 2, Natasha, Clint, Steve and Sam all try to adjust to life without SHIELD. They are sent away to lay low for a while until a new agency is set up but how will they adjust to all of their secrets now being out in the world? Reviews are always welcome :)
1. Chapter 1

"_Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are?" Pierce made a cold jab at Natasha, she hesitated for a moment and then thought about it for a seconds. Looking up she glared at the biggest traitor SHIELD ever had._

"_Are you?" she smirked at the dumfounded Alexander Pierce. Sure, everyone she ever deceived would know her real name and where she worked but it was all worth it to get rid of Hydra. She typed at the codes that she knew she hoped that Steve was succeeding at his task at taking down the helicarriers yet she worried for him. _

_Suddenly the room darkened and red lights illuminated the room. The screen that she was typing on shut off and several voices filled the room. _

"_Murder, that's what the world will see you as." Pierce's voice rang through the room. Looking around she realized she was now alone._

"_You coward, insignificant little bug." A voice she prayed she would never hear again cut through the air- Loki's. _

"_Stop it…" she muttered. She backed away from the table and stumbled into the darkness. Looking down at herself she was out of the pantsuit she had disguised herself in and was now in her regular uniform for SHIELD. _

"_The only reason you are alive is because Barton took pity on you." Fury's voice was the next to attack her. She looked at her hands and they started forming cuts and gashes, spilling blood onto the floor. _

"_Please stop it!" she yelled. She gripped her hair trying to regain her sanity. _

"_Natasha…" a softer voice entered the room. For a millisecond Natasha was relieved until her gears started working that she recognized the voice. "Come here sweetie," fear spread through her chest as she looked around to try and find the source of the voice. _

"_You're dead… I killed you…" she stammered. She remembered every detail about that day. The bitter cold of Russia, the horrible pain that shot through her body because of several bullet wounds to her legs. _

"_You might have killed me…" the voice boomed all around her. "But I will never be dead." _

"_Ivan," she whispered to herself._

"Natasha!" hearing her name made her snap up and she drove her arm back ready to punch but not before she opened her eyes and saw Agent Maria Hill. Her eyes were big and she drew back a bit away from Nat.

"Sorry," Nat lowered her arm and started to breath normally.

"It's okay…" Agent Hill said with caution in her voice. Nat was glad she didn't push for any other explanation. "It's time to go." And with that she exited the room. Looking around her room Nat had grown used to the cozy small room over the last 3 weeks, but it wasn't the same as her old apartment.

After SHIELD fell nearly a month ago everything and everyone was in chaos. Only a few people knew that Fury was alive but wasn't coming back; last Nat heard he had been in Spain trying his luck at bull fighting. After that Maria Hill became the unofficial director for what was left of SHIELD and had to screen everyone to see potential Hydra agents that were still in the ranks. With the help of Steve and Nat they were able to find some pretty big chunks of agents still loyal to Hydra and threw them in government prison, all together they fired about 400 Hydra members they were sure of- there were still a few that they watched carefully.

When the government found out about all the secrets they had they pushed to arrest some of the agents that weren't Hydra conspirators, and that included Natasha. But after some pursuing (and maybe a few PowerPoints that explained how the world would fall into havoc without them) they finally took down the warrant for their arrest. However another secret that came out was that Phil Coulson was alive and well which caused a huge distrust in SHIELD, people were outraged that they weren't told that their partner, co-worker, friend was alive and well. Luckily his location was unknown so no one could track him or find him. And the final thing that came out of everything with the Hydra scheme were the amounting number of deaths but not just SHIELD agents but by the civilians that were unlucky enough to find themselves in the way of the falling helicarriers, or the falling buildings, or the Winter Soldier's rampage.

Natasha felt bad for all the people who lost their lives during this mess and yet she didn't feel guilty. There were only a number of things that Nat felt guilty about but by now she had trained herself to feel almost nothing during a kill and if that person had family- feel nothing towards them.

As SHIELD was slowly rebuilding some of the most targeted agents were sent deep underground into hiding and Natasha was one of them. She had spend the last month in this normal apartment building just outside of DC and was now being moved to upper New York where she would be staying with Clint somewhere.

Moving out of her bed and opening the suitcase she had been living out of she thanked the gods (quite specifically the Asgardians) that Clint was nowhere near DC when everything went down. From what she was told, which wasn't very much, that he had been in the Middle East helping take down a particularly dangerous terrorist who had shot a little girl in the head. He came back a mere day after everything went to pieces.

Nat could never forget the look of him running into the destroyed SHIELD building the look of panic and horror on his face. Sam Wilson had been there by chance, he was taking a walk away from the hospital for a minute when he found Clint running through the demolished building he once found comfort in.

Slipping on comfortable black pants with a tank top and a leather jacket she studied herself in the mirror and decided it was time to change her hair again and this time not just for her own amusement; she needed to change her look so that if someone came looking for her they wouldn't recognize her, hopefully. _You could always use the face computer thing_. The thought ran through her head. When she posed as the lady to infiltrate Pierce's meeting she had used the latest technology that Stark had build at the time. She could use it, but it didn't feel right to her. She was ok using it for missions but she wasn't ashamed of herself- so why hide her face? Plus if anyone did come and try to kill her they would have a hell of a time trying to do that.

Walking out of her tiny room she walked downstairs to see Maria, Clint, Sam and Steve all sitting around a table eating. She would admit it was an odd sight to see but she didn't mind- it was their little piece of peace while everything went on. Glancing at Maria Nat couldn't help but notice how much older she looked by just being director for a few weeks. She rarely got any sleep and when she did it was always light and not that long.

"Nat come on you _have_ to try Sam's pancakes." Clint insisted and patted the seat next to him. God love Clint, even when the world seemed like it was in turmoil, he was still his goofy dorky self. "Dude what do you put in here? God's tears?" Clint continued to stuff himself.

"Just an old family recipe my mama taught me." Sam smiled. Nat took a seat down by Clint and helped herself to some of Sam's pancakes. The apartment complex they stayed in was old so it had a community kitchen that everyone used; the only other people in the complex besides them was an old lady- Ms. Teeton who rarely ever came out of her room and a young couple trying to get on their feet which they never saw much of. Nat felt a little sad since it was their last day here.

"I need to talk to you guys about what is going down this afternoon." Maria sat down with a cup of coffee and didn't touch any food on the table, Nat noticed that Sam looked a bit disappointed that she hadn't eaten his pancakes. Nat cut and ate her own and Clint was right- they were the best pancakes she ever had.

"I'm assuming it has something to do with what we are going to do since SHIELD is gone." Steve was very cold as he said it. Out of everyone that was going to continue working for SHIELD (which was only about 10% of the people that they had post-Hydra takedown) Steve was the one that took it the hardest. Steve never knew but after they visited the old army bunker Nat had done some research on the woman in the photo Steve had stared at and discovered it was Peggy Carter was one of the founders of SHIELD along with a few other including Tony's father. Nat then quickly deduced that Peggy and Steve had something going on when he was frozen in the block of ice. Maybe that's where he would disappear to every week or so…

"And you would be correct." Maria set down 5 files which SHIELD's office symbol on it, one for each other them including Maria. "These, are your new aliases. They weren't easy to come up with so don't fuck them up." She passed them out and Natasha hesitated to open hers. What would she be this time? A striper, governor's mistress, daughter of the famed Alfred Hitchcock? The list when on and on and she had no trouble fitting into her new life.

Finally opening it, it revealed all of the standard things you would find in a file- official name, date of birth, level status, and status as an agent just general things like that. She flipped to the second page and say a picture of a small white house on a big patch of land- it looked like one she'd dreamed about a little girl. She read the information that now was her life.

Name: Mrs. Lillian Randor

Age: 26

Occupation: Local farmer, artist and dance instructor

Location: 1393 Willow Peak Ave, Avoca, New York

Hobbies: Sketching, cooking, running, hiking

Likes: Animals in general (mostly dogs), sunny days, campfires

Dislikes: Semi-trucks, long road trips

Skills: Former high school ballerina, can work farm equipment,

Hometown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Personality: Nice, whole-hearted, outgoing but sometimes overbearing

Natasha read and re-read her new identity, when SHIELD was going to make you a fake person- they made sure they did it thoroughly. Under the papers was a New York driver's license, social security card and a credit card.

"You have new bank accounts under these names and your money has been transferred into there. I'm afraid that this is as far as we can get, I don't know the next time we will discuss the future of SHIELD." Agent Hill kept a stern face and folded her hands on the table. "You each will be near each other so if there is anything to go array then help is not too far away- it may be the only help you will get until we a standard system down." The words hung in the air like heaps of smoke- hard to take in and keep down. "You will leave in 1 hour so I suggest you pack and get situated. I'm sorry that you have to be thrown out into the world like this and I wish you all the best until I see you again." She got up and walked out. By this time Clint had eating his pancakes and they had gone cold.

"Were are you stationed Natasha?" Steve asked her. Clint put his elbows up on the table and kept his head down at the file, Nat highly doubted he was reading it.

"A place in New York called Avoca. Doesn't seem like a big place." Nat looked at Steve put kept a side view of Clint.

"Sam and I we're in Prattsburgh New York, and I have map," He showed them with a flash of it. "They don't seem too far off from each other which is good, we need to stay in touch."

"Aye aye Captain." Clint gave a salute and sat back in his chair smiling proudly at himself. Sam started a silent laugh but Nat didn't move. Steve hadn't really know Clint all that long and the only time he spent time with him was when he got over Loki's brain controlling condition and they saved New York City together; other than that they didn't really having bonding time. Steve gave Nat a quick glance and he slightly nodded her head; she wanted to tell Steve that Clint didn't mean bad- it was just it always came off that way.

"Whatever you say birdbrain." Steve quickly retaliated with a horribly thought out comeback. Sam laughed at the stupidity of it as well as herself.

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that one I'd be as rich as Stark." Clint did give a sarcastic smile which made Nat feel a little bit better.

She then got up and walked upstairs to shower and get ready for the uncertainty ahead. As she entered her room she took noticed on how little of an imprint she had made on it since being here. She hadn't put up any pictures, no personal items, hell she didn't even bother to open the closet after all the time she was here. Her suitcase she had brought was only a bit larger than a desk and yet it held nearly everything she owned- or everything that hadn't been destroyed. It held 3 pairs of shoes, a thermal jacket, several shirts and pants and her electric gloves which she hadn't worn since the attack on New York. She had a little cosmetic bag that held a brush, toothbrush and toothpaste and a photo that no one but her and Clint had ever seen; a picture of her as a little girl- no more than 12 and it was the only photo she had ever seen that depicted her childhood. Walking to the suitcase she unzipped the small pouched that laid inside of it and pulled out an old fading colored photo of a little girl sitting on a stoop of a large house with a hat and a blue jacket on. You could see little ends of red hair poking out of the hat and she was smiling a wide toothy grin.

Nat grinned at the fading picture and tucked it back into the pouch- getting ready to remake herself for the millionth time into a person she wished but never could be.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't much longer until all 4 of them were outside with their packed bags at their feet with 2 cars ready to take them off. Nat brought Steve to the side to have a word with him before he left with Sam. Clint was a little ways away laughing with Sam probably making some weird bird bros comment.

"Are you still going after him?" Nat asked in a very hushed tone.

"You know I am." Steve looked determined and had his mind set. "I'll lay low for a day, two at the most just to make SHIELD happy; then Sam and I will head out and start looking for Bucky."

"Where are you going to start?" Nat was worried that his search might be in vain. "Like I said before he's a ghost- he has nowhere to go and he can't just wonder around forever." She was truly worried for her companion, she didn't want his spirit to be crushed- it was something she admired about him.

"I'll start with Pierce's files and find the lab they were using to… control him." Steve refrained from using the word _torture_ and Nat didn't blame him. She wouldn't want to think about anyone she cared about being in that situation.

"You still have the file I gave you?" She wanted to do more for him but that was all she could do, for now at least.

"Yep, in my bag." Steve said, one of the cars beeped as soon as he was finished talking. "Stay in touch, if you can ok?" he asked of her.

"I can't promise anything," she smirked a bit. "But I'll see what I can do." She gave him a quick hug and then headed to her car with Clint headed that way to. "Stay safe boys." She grinned at her two friends ducking into the car.

As she slipped into the back seat with Clint there was a black glass separating them from seeing their driver. This gave her an uneasy feeling.

"Where exactly did Hill say we were relocating?" Nat knew it was a little town but not getting to see how she got there made her jumpy.

"Relax Tasha," Clint cooed. "I promise we'll get there safely; we have about 5 hours so I suggest you get comfortable." Clint himself took off his shoes and leaned back in the seat making himself at home in the tiny car. Nat hear the car engine roar to life and felt the car starting on its journey to god-knows-where.

"And how do you know so much about this apparently top secret place?" She smiled at him. It had been quite a while since her and Clint got to relax with each other. After New York they were with each other for nearly 6 months before Natasha got reassign to work with Cap. SHIELD thought it was a wonderful idea to separate Nat and Clint at this time. Clint was still having Loki endorsed nightmares and would wake up yelling at himself to stop at least twice a week. Nat was helping him through it but SHIELD had other plans. Nat rarely saw him after that but was allowed regular updates on him which made her happy.

"We both have our secrets Nat," Clint said in a less friendly voice. "We haven't seen each other in nearly a year- I mean _really _seen each other and we have some catching up to do. So I would suggest relaxing because there's no use in trying to deduce this one." Clint gave a weak smile but it quickly faded. Nat reluctantly took his advice, laid her head on the corner of the door and window and watched as the blur of trees and houses went by.

Nat wasn't sure if she fell asleep or not but when she regained her senses and stretch, well as much as she could in the small backseat. Looking over at Clint she wasn't surprised to see him with this eyes closed, head back with a tiny stream of drool running down his cheek.

Slowly and cautiously grabbing his arm she check his watch to see how much longer she had to endure the unknown. 3:34; they had been on the road for nearly 4 hours so it wasn't much longer to her relief. Laying back down she tried to make herself fall asleep but just couldn't get herself in a relaxed mood. After about a half an hour she finally gave up and decided to look outside and focus on Clint's loud, but not quite snoring, heavy breathing.

Down time and not having anything to focus her mind on was a dangerous thing for Natasha, it had led to her screaming and yelling in a room full of random people, hiding out in the helicarriers for 2 days since no one could find her and these flashbacks even made her attack Clint once which she would never really forgive herself fully for.

Her childhood was a blur of fights, yelling, bitter coldness and constant fear of being killed. It made her sad that she remembered those things as a little girl; being taken by a bear of a man and forced to become an assassin. She was made to be a killer and that's what she is good at. She had been training herself to remember these things and not react to them and now seemed the perfect time to try and not scream out, it was like pulling off scabs.

Her memories started off with a happy one, eating goose in her early home in Russia. Her parents were running around in the kitchen singing a song in her native language, they were smiling, laughing and dancing as the tiny Natasha stuffed her face. It had been an unusually cold day in Russia and the family had 3 of their fireplaces going.

"Come my sweet it is time for bed." Her mother had cooed to her. Even in her memories Nat could tell her mother was a beautiful woman; she had thick red hair, an unusual color where they lived, her face was round and her eyes were big and full of life. Natasha remembered whining at her young age of 6 how she wanted to stay up.

"Yes my little wolf, even the fiercest animals like you need to get their rest." Her father walked over and put his hand on her face gently. He had given her the loving expression of 'his little wolf' after she had found a baby wolf in the forest while her and her father were out hiking one day.

It was the last night her mother and father tucked her into bed and given her a kiss on the head. She was curled up in her big wool blanket with her eyes getting heavier and heavier and the last thing she saw before falling asleep was her mother tucked under her father's arm closing the door.

The next few minutes were the most intense of her life. Her dreams of dog sledding were interrupted by the struggle to breathe and a scream that pierced the black night. She shot up and opened the door to see her hallway being filled with flames. Nat wasn't sure if she screamed for her parents but she wanted to run to help but she remembered being burned by the flames, that's why she never wore shorts- the burns were horrific. Next thing she knew a large arm wrapped around her and carried her out of the burning house; she kicked and screamed but the man's arm alone was as thick as a ham, part of her was afraid he would crush her.

As he brought her out of the burning house her lungs that burned with smoke were now filled with cold, crisp air cleared away the suffocating smoke.

"Stop squirming," the man yelled in her ear as he pulled her away from the burning house. It was the first time she heard the voice that would torment her for the next 14 years- telling her to push harder, threatening her if she didn't complete her mission, it would be the voice that would beg for mercy when she killed him.

After that night her whole world didn't seem real; she was told her parents died in an 'accidental' and that the man, Ivan, was to be her new father and the other children and teenagers were her new siblings, they called themselves The Red Room. At that point she was trained to fight, be witty and outsmart anyone she came into contact with. Even though she was significantly smaller than the other children she quickly became the best fighter. She was strong, a small target and the fastest one around.

When she turned 14 she was sent on her first mission- it was a small one, just to rob a wealthy family of what new father called- 'dirty money'. Her mission went off without a hitch and was clean cut, nothing out of the blue. From then on they started sending her on more dangerous missions- kidnapping people and bringing them to Ivan, stealing cars, trains, she even managed to steal a small personal plane once. But then they made her kill; the first time she was asked to do it- she was holding a gun to a young man's head when she backed out. When she returned to The Red Room- they beat, starved, and tortured her for the next couple of days. After that she did whatever they asked her to do.

"Nat," Clint's voice suddenly brought her back into the present in the cramped stuffy back seat. "What's wrong?" he scooted a little closer to her but still have her plenty of room.

"Just… um, thinking about…" she had trouble finding the words.

"Say no more, you don't have to explain." Clint didn't pressure her- that was one of the many things she loved about him. He would never push someone into telling him something that they weren't comfortable sharing- he understood some things people needed to keep to themselves. "Well you better get ready because we're nearly there!" he seemed unusually excited to go somewhere that was a secret to them, or maybe it was just to her.

Glancing out the window she saw fields and cows and horses and everything green and flat. People were surprised when they saw grass in New York- Nat always thought: _Common people, New York City isn't all of New York. _New York outside of NYC was beautiful and Natasha felt sorry for those who weren't able to see it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Clint very eager to get out of the car, he seemed like a puppy excited to run around.

Natasha loved Clint Francis Barton; she wasn't sure what kind of love it was but it was there. Most SHIELD agents were nice enough but were untrusting and usually kept to themselves; some had families but they weren't those social type of families. Clint was different in certain ways; sure he was cautious around new people and knew when to be on high alert- he was no way ignorant. He saw twice the amount of carnage and destruction that most agents did, hell he fought in the Battle of New York City and his mind had been taken over by Loki and yet even after all that happened to him, he was friendly. He loved meeting people (who weren't sketchy) and absolutely loved dogs, it didn't matter what type, whenever they would go on mission and he would see a dog he would go and played with it. He would go out and have a few drinks with Tony and Steve sometimes and he and Tony try to out-drink Steve, which would never end in victory. And even though he would never confirm it Nat swore he would go on blind dates that Tony had secretly set him up with.

"Clint," she started. Looking over at him he looked at her intently to listen. A sudden feeling of gratitude washed over her; she had been with him when he got too close to an explosion and lost almost all of his hearing. Since then he had been given hearing aids and he appreciated listening to people more and loved music more now. "What did your file say?" Clint held up a finger and search through his backpack that Natasha rarely saw him without. He pulled out a file that looked exactly like hers and handed it to her. She opened it and started listing off who he was now.

Name: Mr. Trevor Randor

Age: 26

Occupation: Local farmer, athletic director for local high school

Location: 1393 Willow Peak Ave, Avoca, New York

Hobbies: Exercising, gardening, hiking

Likes: Animals in general (mostly dogs), watching sports

Dislikes: Cats, litter, sass

Skills: Can work farm equipment,

Hometown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Personality: Funny, honest, laid-back, fiercely protective, ignorant

"Oh so we're are a married couple this time," Nat informed him. She and Clint often played people who had close relationships- brother and sister, husband and wife, best friends, cousins, and so much more that she was too lazy to think of.

"I'm not complaining," Clint gave a cheeky smile, Nat let out a friendly but annoyed sighed and shoved the file back in his chest. Nat back in her seat and noticed that the car was slowly down and pulling into a gravel driveway.

Looking over at Clint he had a smile on his face and stuffed the file in his backpack and pulled it up next to him waiting to get. Nat herself took off her seatbelt and waited. After another 30 seconds of waiting the car rolled to a stop and they both jumped out.

Looking ahead Natasha saw a white house with green shutters surrounded by grass. There was a wood pile on the left and a small shed on the right. From what she could tell the neighbors were at least a half mile away. There were a couple of chairs on the porch with a table, there was even a tire swing hanging off a tree. Running up to it Clint took in a deep breath and smiled and look genuinely happy.

"Do you know this place Clint?" Nat asked.

"Yep," Clint smiled and scanned the whole lot. "Natasha- this is my farm."


	3. Chapter 3

Nat stared at Clint like he had just grown arrows out of his ears. He had a farm? Clint? A farm? The even possible thought of it was insane. Clint turned back to his house and looked proud of it.

"How the hell did you get farm?" Nat was confused beyond explanation. Sure, she didn't know Clint's life story but she knew enough. His parents died when he was young and he and his older brother were orphaned and thrown into foster care. After nearly 3 years they ran away to the circus where they stayed until Barney was 21. She didn't know what happened after that, all she did know was Barney (Clint's older brother) died in an accident and Clint started working for SHIELD not long after.

"It was my families…" his voice trailed a bit and Nat could tell that he was thinking about his family. "We used to come here during the summer. It's my favorite place in the whole world." Nat walked up next to him and stared at the house. "Common I want to show you the inside." He gave her a shove and started up the wooden stairs. Glancing back she noticed that the car they had come in was gone and only their lone suitcases stood in the drive way. Turning back she quickly grabbed the relatively light suitcases and brought them up to the porch. She set them down and let herself in the screen door.

Walking inside her nose was filled with the smell of campfire smoke; inside to her right was a small kitchen table that looked like it hadn't been touch in years- it was connected to more of an open kitchen whose appliances hadn't been updated in at least 15 years. To her left was a little square of the room that had an old green couch with a box TV, stepping into the room she noticed a coffee table- with dents and scratches with magazines and books on it like the person just left for a minute and intended to be back.

"Nat?" she heard her name called through the house.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Come upstairs, you'll want to get settled in!" Clint informed her. Nat turned back to the door and brought their bags inside. Walking upstairs she noticed that the stairs gave the tiniest of squeaks. Another think she noticed was how the house seemed to resemble Clint; it wasn't big and fancy like something Stark would, it wasn't grand and big like Thor described Asgard, and to Nat's view it didn't seem all that clean like Bruce's apartment and wasn't organized like Steve's. It truly reflected Clint in every aspect, or Clint's family for that matter.

When Nat reached the top of the stairs she noticed that there were miniscule holes in the wall from where nails had been taken out, and by the faint lighter coloring in square shapes- she could tell Clint had taken down family photos. She didn't blame him- then again she had nothing she could compare that too. Upstairs there was a small hallway with several doors. Nat saw Clint moving behind one and decided to join him. Stepping in the first thing that struck her was the set up of the room. She expected a small bed with a handmade quilt on it, maybe a chair and a small shelf of books; instead of a bed there was a hammock swinging from the corner of the room, under it were a pile over over-sized pillows. Yes there were books in the room but they were stacked horizontally and stretched up to the ceiling. There was a desk with paper and pencils scattered and a few drawings pinned above it. The room had 2 walls that were majority made up of huge windows that streamed light in. On the 2 remaining walls there were posters of bands; ACDC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Guns n' Roses, Queen and more smaller bands she didn't recognize. She didn't even realized that Clint turned around and almost bumped into her.

"Jeez Nat," he looked surprised. "I thought… never mind." He shook his head. "Well I guess you got a glimpse to how I was in my younger years." Clint smiled. "I originally had a bed but after begging my parents finally got me my own personal hammock, however they insisted on the pillows after I fell out of it, and that was more than I would like to admit. And most of those books, are archery books, novels and just some weird ones I've found over the years." His cheeks were a little flushed.

"Are those yours?" She pointed over to the fading pencil drawings hanging off of the walls. There was one of a lion, one of a dog running through an unfinished field, one filled with doodles of eyes, mouths, ears and lips.

"I forgot all about those," he walked over and started pushing papers over on the desk. "Yeah, when I was younger I wanted to be the greatest archer/artist there ever was. Obviously that's changed." There was a sadness in his voice that Nat understood. Even when the Red Room was training her she had a desire to be a dancer, but teaching it under her fake identity was probably the closest she was ever going to come. "I haven't been in this room since I was probably 10 or so…"

"Their beautiful," Nat complimented his drawings.

"For a 10 year old I guess." He was snarky at his own drawing. "Buy, anyway- let me show you your room." He walked out of the room and she followed him; he pasted 2 doors, he mentioned one was the bathroom but she didn't quite catch it. "And this, right here," he opened a door. "Is where you shall be staying," he made a grand gesture and opened the door. Looking in Nat decided that if she ever had to describe her perfect room- this was the spitting image of it.

The room was a light pale yellow that reflected the sun perfectly. There was a nice sized iron rod bed that was snug in a corner with a bed side table with a reading lamp and a clock that was way out of date. To the left there was a window with a little reading nook that looked out over the farm; and to the right there was a desk that resembled Clint's except this one was nice and clean. She was honestly surprised how organized and nice the room looked despite no one being in here she guess in more than 10 years or so.

"This was our guest room for anyone who decided to come over. Not that a lot of people came, mainly just my parents friends." Clint informed her.

"It looks so nice and warm." Nat slowly made her way in. "I'm surprised it stayed this clean."

"I come up here at least once a year to make sure it stays in shape," he kept himself in the doorway.

"You do a good job, I didn't know you were such a handyman." She smiled.

"Like I said Nat, we all have our secrets- even between us." He winked and walked out allowing Nat to adjust to her new fake life.

The next couple of days were a bit hectic. Natasha and Clint had to rehearse their lives before they felt comfortable going into town and buying food and such; as they predicted people asked them questions and they answered flawlessly.

_-Where do you live?_

_-In the white house just outside of town._

_-The Barton's old place?_

_-That's the one!_

_-They died years ago, how did you manage to get it?_

_-We inherited it, after we married earlier this year we decided that we wanted a place of our own. After we found out our family was the owner we knew we just had to move here!_

_-Oh that's so nice! Well I'm [insert name here] and I live [insert address here]. If you newlyweds need anything just let me know!_

_-Thank you so much! We will!_

Meeting everyone was overwhelming for Nat, although by the time they got done grocery shopping, her and her 'husband' had met at least 85% of the town. Most of them were couples that retired recently, a good portion were farmers who had lived here their whole lives and were now raising their families there; they were in the small portioned of the younger people in the town without extended family here.

After a day of shopping and lying to nice people they headed home and parked their truck and walked up to the house with bags in their arms, they were greeted by a loving German Shepard. Funny thing about the dog was that it just showed up at their door- on a leash with a SHIELD symbol on the collar. Nat remembered that she was suppose to like animals so she guessed having a dog would be more convincing. Nat hadn't been a big animal person but she absolutely loved this dog; he was fun and loving and would always stay close to Natasha (she swore it made Clint a bit jealous). They had also come to acquire 2 cars- one was an older truck that they used all of the time, but then parked in the shed was a black SHIELD car that would make for a quick getaway if they really to.

As for their jobs- Clint actually did farm and sold his products at the local market. The local high school would start in a couple of weeks and he would be their athletic director; Nat agreed- if Clint hadn't been recruited to SHIELD- he would most definitely be at a job that involved sports. She herself would start couching the dance team there and even one at a small dance studio that had a maximum of only 30 dancers. Their jobs would start in less than 2 weeks.

Back in the house Clint turned up the radio which played a song she didn't recognize but just went along in. Nat was putting away groceries while Clint was outside planting some flowers to make them actually look like a happy couple. As the sun was slowly descending into the horizon. Clint came back in and Nat heated up two personal pizzas that they had bought. Neither of them were cooks and Nat knew for a fact everything she made- she burned.

Sitting at the table she saw that this specific piece of furniture had seen a lot. It had stains, dents, and scratches and seemed to wobble a bit. They ate in silence for the first few minutes, both of them starving from their day of shopping. But something wasn't sitting right with Nat and she had an idea of what it was.

"Clint?" she finally asked. He looked up at her with his round eyes and pizza half-way stuffed in his mouth.

"E-yeah?" he gave a partial smiled and pushed the rest of the pizza into his mouth. "What's up?"

"I have to ask- what _did_ you do while I was working with Steve?" Nat asked. Besides the mentioned of the terrorist she had nothing to go on- she knew from experience that a lot can happen between partners when they don't work together for a long time.

"Well," he took a sip of water. "Not going to lie it kinda sucked. First the... nightmares, started getting more intense and were mixed in with missions that I don't like to think about. After about a month of that Fury made me go see someone, um Bobbie Mores. She helped me through and in time I was all patch up- figuratively of course. And in no time I was back to missions, cracking heads and taking names. Had a few missions- drug lord, rescue a kid, just general things. I got with that terrorist thing quite early but I decided to stay to help get some civilians resettled and then when I came back…" he didn't say that he saw the only home he had ever known blown up. He didn't say that he was told Fury died by the hand of the Winter Soldier (although Nat would later tell him the truth).

Out of everything that Clint did and didn't say, the thing that bothered her the most was him confiding in Bobbi to tell his dreams about- honestly she felt a little betrayed; Bobbie was a SHIELD agent who decided halfway through her training to be an agent she decided that she wanted to become a consoler instead. Of course there was nothing Nat could do at that time to help Clint and he needed help but she always felt protective over her partner. Nat didn't have a lot of friends or even colleagues within SHIELD, but from the seldom ones she did have- Clint was the best.

"Wow, well I'm glad you're ok," she swallowed her feelings and put on a happy face. "Anything else big?" she pushed a little further to see how far he would let her into his life.

"Oh common were not going to have one of those emotional sessions were we cry and feel sorry for ourselves are we?" Clint complained. Nat felt a sting of embarrassment but it quickly went away.

"Well not anymore." she got up from the table and threw her plate in the sink and started walking off.

"Nat, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Clint started to go after her.

A sudden anger pierced through her body. She suddenly regretted coming on this lay-low scenario. She whipped around and looked up at Clint, he was a whole head and a half taller than her but she stared like a lion stares at a gazelle- angry and full of rage.

"It takes a whole lot more than you getting quick with me to hurt my feelings." She yelled at him a little more loudly than she would have liked. "Like you said- we haven't been together for over a year. We're both different now."

Clint was going to say something but Nat didn't stay around to hear it. She heard him call her name but she ran upstairs and closed the door to her own room. Sliding down the door she balled her hands into fists and thought about how her and her once close partner now seemed like they were back in their 1st month of working together.


	4. Chapter 4

Nat wasn't sure how she got into bed but she woke up wrapped in her blankets with the sun streaming in. After getting up and walking outside she saw Clint's door was shut and there was a faint sound of snoring behind the door. Carefully and quietly walking downstairs she decided it was high time to call Steve.

SHIELD had provided both of them with two high tech phones that Stark had designed but she didn't want them tracing it or even the possibility of it. Other than that there was only 1 telephone in the house and it was one of the old 80s looking telephones that were connected to the wall. Sliding down the stairs in one swift movement she ducked into the kitchen and called Steve by his cell phone number that wasn't his SHIELDs. They both personally bought 2 crappy $30 phones that had those limited minutes so they could contact each other. Clicking in the numbers she waited as the phone rang. It rang and rang and rang and for a second she feared that he had gotten rid of it. Suddenly the tone stopped and she heard breath on the other side of the phone.

"Wonder whether having, isn't it?" Nat automatically said into the phone.

"Yes, but I always carry an umbrella." She heard Steve respond back. "Ok good it's you Nat." Steve had taught her a code that he used back in his old army days, although he would never tell her what it was used for back then.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't get in touch earlier. It's been an adjustment." She quickly explained for her absence.

"Sam here," he agreed. "Sam and I are still laying low longer than I would have liked."

"So are you going after him?"

"Packing up right now, this town is a really odd. Everyone thinks we're gay- not that there's anything wrong with that…"

"Steve-" she interrupted him.

"Sorry. But we're going to find the files and see where they held him. I think it's somewhere in just outside of DC."

"It would have to be," she agreed. "His main target area was DC and he showed up relatively quickly. I would say someplace that is mostly isolated but has access to science and medical instruments." She pondered for a second. "Maybe something by the bay?"

"That's our best lead so far." Nat heard the zipping of a back in the background. She also heard a slight creak in the stairs which indicated that Clint was up. "I haven't been able to get to a computer to see any of SHIELDs files."

"You can go to a Mac store like we did when we tracked down the army base." She informed him. "I'm guessing that you know how to get in."

"You forget who you're talking to." He sassed. People always assumed that Steve a perfect reputation and was a good child and said nothing out of turn, but when you got to know him he loosened up and got sassy and smart with you- Nat didn't mind it.

"Right, I have to go, keep me posted?" she asked quickly.

"Can't keep any promises. But I'll do my best." He answered.

"You always do- bye." He returned the farewell and she hung up the phone. "You can come down now Clint." She spat. She waited for a few seconds before she heard the creaking stairs and his loud footsteps coming down.

"That was Steve?" Clint asked going to the fridge and pulling out the carton of milk, taking a swig of it. "How's he doing? I haven't talked to him since before you and him… went on your mission and brought down SHIELD or whatever."

"He's doing fine, he's out searching for Bucky." Nat quickly said.

"Bucky?"

Pausing for a moment Nat wasn't sure if she should tell Clint, but partners always needed to be honest. "The Winter Soldier."

"Him?!" Clint was in front of her now holding her shoulders. "The one who shot you? You let Steve go after him?" Clint was obviously against Steve's mission to find his childhood friend.

"But it's his childhood friend. He's brainwashed into killing those people, into shooting me. It wasn't him." Nat explained. "I was like him…" The kitchen filled with silence as both of them reminisced to the day Clint decided not to kill her and take her into SHIELD instead- giving her a new life. "He needs to save him."

"Then I know the feeling," Clint looked like he was back in time to when he actually brought Nat back to SHIELD and how absolute havoc it was. When Clint saved her and brought her back she remembered not being able to stay in a room with anyone but Clint. He was the one who brought her food, kept her company and gave her anything she needed. She was a feral animal that even today many SHIELD agents looked down upon even though she proved herself time and time again. "Then I support him." He finally decided.

"Great." Nat wasn't sure how she felt about this situation.

"Nat about last night," Clint started.

"Don't- we both said some stuff last night that we really didn't mean. We're partners right? We've been through hell and back- it's gonna take a lot more than a couple of harsh words to break us apart." Nat wanted things not to be more strenuous than they already were.

"You got that right." Clint laughed and pulled her into a side hug. Nat smiled and accepted the hug. "Anyways," he suddenly let go and scratched the back of his head. "Shall we continue faking our lives?"

"As always, my lovely husband." She smiled and sarcastically remarked. Clint gave a nervous laughed leaned up against the fridge. She was a little concerned how quickly they resolved the matter but she pushed those feelings aside and decided to enjoy the company of her best friend.

The next weeks went by without an interruption. Nat would get a call or two from Steve keeping her updated at least once a week, he even talked to Clint once or twice. She had started her job and so had Clint- he actually enjoyed being an athletic director and getting to see how much better he was than all the high school students.

"Clint you know your 8 years older than them right?" Nat would say when he got boastful.

"Are you kidding? I was twice the athlete they are when I was a senior." He would laugh.

While teaching dancing Nat discovered that she is actually a caring person towards children- or most of them at least. They all were well mannered children who would listen to her and she would rarely ever have to get cross with them. There were a few that challenged her when she got there but she quickly put them in their place.

As weeks were dragging on and Natasha soon started to get antsy- she had never been out of action for this long unless it was for an injury or something. This had been one of the only times in her life were she got to actually feel like a normal person and not some world known assassin who didn't just leak the secrets to the most secret government agency in the world.

Her relationship with Clint also seemed at ease, besides their first scuffle a couple of weeks ago they had been good. Going into town they acted like a nice wedded couple and at home they acted like two goofy best friends. Nat had never been happier in her life, and that very feeling scared the living shit out of her.

Waking up one day she saw out the window that it was a lazy overcast day; she silently thanked the world that it was Saturday and she and Clint got the day off to just relax. She got up and grabbed one of the few loose t-shirts she had bought since their stay here. Walking downstairs her nose was invaded with the smell of pancakes and bacon, in a food induced trace she walked downstairs and saw Clint in front of the stove having trouble cooking.

"What are you doing?" Nat laughed and tapped Clint on the shoulder.

"Oh!" Clint was surprised and turned to the side to reveal brown pancakes and bacon that was a little too crisp. "I attempted to make Sam's amazing pancakes, and it didn't really go as planned."

"And I actually had faith in you," Nat sarcastically pouted. Clint took the bacon off, put it on a plate and attempted to save what he could. He laughed silently to himself and took a bite of the tough meat.

"Do you think this is what regular people's lives are like?" He asked as he chewed.

"Maybe, although I feel like it would have the lack of knowledge about everything evil out there, aliens, Hydra, terrorist." As soon as she said it, Nat wished she could take it back, it had accidentally made the mood very morbid.

"Yeah, wouldn't that be an easy life." Clint swallowed and stared at the ground.

"How was it?" Nat suddenly questioned him. Confused Clint looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "I mean a life before all of this- you had one. You've told me you had one." Nat wanted to know a life outside of killing and being scared for your life all the time.

"I mean it wasn't much of a life," Clint started. "From what I do remember it was okay… there were ups and downs. I guess a pro was that you were ignorant, god I wish I could go back to that. You didn't know about all the evil out there; sure you heard about serial killers and shooters- but Nat, they are just child's play to what we've seen. I remember when Barney and I got roped into becoming part of the circus there were so many people who would tell us stories about their lives. Barney and I heard so much, both good and bad and that was our first reality- that's what I remember. Of course the cons are being totally oblivious to what the dangers are actually were. People go through their lives thinking they have control of it when they really don't- and that's the scariest thing to me." Clint didn't look at Natasha and just stared out the window. "Although it was nice to have the circus and Barney for a part of my life, but this is my life now- and it's almost impossible to change it."

"You know we have to back, right Clint? This is just for a while until Maria tells us otherwise." Nat didn't want him to get comfortable, and she was angry at herself for feeling that way. Clint didn't answer her and continued to look out of the window- it was raining now.

"You know we could do it; disappear." Clint reminded her of the time they tried to. "I mean we've nearly done it before."

"You know we can't do that." She sighed.

"But why not?" anger started trickling into his voice. "I mean haven't we've saved the world enough? Haven't given up enough to that other people could live happy? I mean we've both been shot, poisoned, tortured, nearly on the brink of death. You've fallen off cliffs that should have killed you Natasha; I've had my mind taken over by some runaway evil prince and forced to kill our own! We have been through double for what this line of duty calls for." His chest heaved. "And we don't know when SHIELD is going to be up and running or if it ever will, we don't know if it's ever going to be like it was before. I'm sick of someone else always giving me orders, I've been taking them since I was boy and now… we have a chance to make our own lives here and do what we want to do. If you think about we are the only 2 Avengers that really don't have a life outside of our line of duty. Stark is up and coming with the best clean energy science and create, plus he has Pepper. Thor is spending time with Jane- taking her to Asgard and such. Steve is trying to find Bucky along with Sam; and Bruce is trying to make a world a better place and keep his condition under control. What do we have?" Clint yelled through the house.

Nat stared at him and swore he saw tears in his eyes, she knew part of him was right. Nat had always been a killer and really didn't know anything outside of being secretive and undercover; Clint had always had his life decisions made for him. First it was Barney who decided what they should do after their parents died, and now it was SHIELD. (Technically they used the term 'recruited' but you really didn't have much of a choice).

"I'm just so tired, if someone doesn't kill me first exhaustion will." Clint walked over to her. Nat stared at Clint not knowing how to react. She was divided- half of her wanted to run away with him and not have to worry about killing anyone every again, but the other half, her rational half, was telling her that if she didn't stay and keep the world safe, who would?

"Clint," she began. Looking at him she saw how the job had taken a toll on him. His eyes were gaunt with purple bags under them, the lines on his face were sharp and deep- he was a young man and the world already threw him around like a rag doll. "I'm sorry the world sucks." It was the only thing she could think of.

Clint gave a weak chuckle and smiled at her. "I am too. It just seems so useless sometimes, we do all this good in the world; save lives, kill bad guys, make the world safe and it turns out that our own agency has one of the worst followings in it that's been there since World War 2? I mean it's kind of depressing."

"There has to be good in your life right? Your farm, that's a plus," Nat tried to make him feel better. Clint rarely got this emotional and when he did Nat knew it was severe and hard for him. Her mind suddenly went blank and something took over her- she went and hugged Clint. SHIELD always thought of Nat as an emotionless killer, which would be an advantage sometimes, but her one weak spot was Clint and he needed her right now.

"Think of something happy Clint." Nat mumbled into his shirt.

"Yeah ok…" he tightened his arms around her. "I think I can manage that."

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><p><strong>Sorry if you didn't like this chapter, I had to make it a little touchy-feely; I'll pick up the action in the next one i promise :) <strong>


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